Bodyguard – Movie Review
Posted by FATEMA H.KAGALWALA on August 31, 2011 | 2 Comment
PRODUCER – Atul Agnihotri, Alvira Agnihotri
DIRECTOR – Siddique
WRITER – Siddique
CAST – Salman Khan, Kareena Kapoor, Raj Babbar
MUSIC – Himesh Reshammiya, Pritam Chakraborty
Over the last few years Salman Khan Inc., has made an event of kitschy brain-drains catering to a mostly first-bencher, whistle-blowing audience. The journey started with Wanted and Dabangg converted the rolling-eyes-at-such-tripe movie-watchers into affectionate fans. Bodyguard, in one artless swipe undoes all the goodwill the Inc., had gathered till now.
So as the very creative and inspiring title suggests, muscle-man Sallu is Ma’m Kareena’s bodyguard, hired by the very upright and awe-inspiring hammy father, Raj Babbar (Maalik to Bodyguard) to protect the apple-of-the-eye daughter. However, apple-of-the-eye is trying hard to throw him off his duty, little knowing she is soon to fall in love with him. The extremely intelligent apple that she is, she creates another personality and calls Bodyguard, claiming to be in love with him. Since, we live in an age of gender equality, bodyguard matches her intelligence every step and promptly falls in love with the faceless voice on the phone. But now the apple faces the dilemma of revealing her true self to gain her love, something that just might ensure she will lose him forever. Remember we are still in the naukar-maalik zone and this is India?
This realisation hits home, sharpening her intelligence some more and more ploys come into play. Also comes to play a villain, a yester-year’s hero (who still thinks he is a hero, he even claims it on-screen). So Hulk has to first hang him from the nearest jutting pole before apple’s dream can come true. Which he does, but unfortunately by then apple has crossed all known conventions of IQ, even infecting her Maalik father and best friend. This leaves only us, the poor audience desperately waiting for our dream to come true, of the movie to end.
But not before Matrix-style action scenes celebrate their own Eid.
The film tries hard to prove that a Salman-Kareena starrer does not need good-looking visuals or well-done sets. It also believes that such a starrer does not need decent direction to give it, well, a direction. And lastly it concludes it does not need a story or sense of screenplay either. It then, rightly deserves to be hailed as an incredibly brave experimental effort for trying to prove these myths as fallacies.
Movie-goers will know, there are pleasures, there are guilty pleasures and then there are obscenities that masquerade as both. Unbelievably tacky where even Manish Malhotra gets it all wrong.